This shoot was literally done months ago but I had no motivation whatsoever to edit the pictures. I continuously blamed Uni for making me "too busy", but I know that wasn't the real reason for not finishing this post.
I was simply scared.
I was scared that people would judge me for trying out something different.
I was scared that people would judge me for creating something that isn't good enough.
I was scared that I am not good enough for whatever creative direction I am trying to take.
But after some deep 3am thinking, I pulled myself together and thought how am I supposed to learn and grow as a "creative" and essentially as a person if I let fears like failure and judgement stop me? I can't let things like these stop me from doing something I enjoy, something that makes me happy.
Doing shoots like this is how people learn and hone their skills. Yes, it may not be perfect or "Vogue" material but at least I am trying my best and I know that I can only go up from here.
And as for my foolish interest in gaining gratification through others, I tell myself that what others think of me is none of my business. I only want to fill my surroundings, energy and thoughts with positivity and support so that I am able to flourish as a person and a creative and so that I can reciprocate those vibes.
Anyways, enjoy this post featuring my gal Rochelle. Hopefully this inspires you to try out something you've always wanted to. Or maybe this is the sign that all the work you put in, is worth it. See you soon and much love. xx
Creative Direction, Styling & Photography: Jillian Arcenas
Photography: Rochelle Oh
Due to a sudden interest in photography, I asked my talented friend Rochelle (who is also modelling in these pictures) to help me learn how to use my DSLR. These images are the result and signifies the start of this new hobby. Very excited to learn and share more.
Also I am always eager to improve and learn so if anyone is down for a lil collab hit me up through email or slide into my dms. :) (@jillarcenz)